Entitled.

Entitlement: An unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.

Wow. That's kinda hard hitting when I stop and think about it. How often do I sit here, in my own room, demanding people to serve me? How often do I become such an entitled little pig without realizing it is even happening? 

Lately I've been trying to pay more attention to the needs of others around me. I mean, its super easy to spend my Saturday curled up in bed watching Dr Who and Boy Meets World just because "I dont feel 100%". In fact I did, yesterday. But how much harder is it to get up and see what I can do even to help my own family? What can I do to help my mother?

I'm going to be honest, at YWAM it was a lot easier to focus on God and focus on serving those around me. I know I wasn't perfect at it and I had times when I wanted to scream at people instead. But it was still easier to keep that focus. Home has, in a way, been like entering a war field. (They do tell you how it will be, you just don't quite believe it.)

I have to fight to make sure I am putting in time for God. I have to fight myself to not think about me but instead focus on what I can do to help and to serve. I have to fight a sense of entitlement that I don't even recognize at times. I have to fight, but I am trained and willing.