Vulnerable
Fact: I hate being/feeling vulnerable
Fact: God likes it when I am vulnerable before him
One thing that I have learnt about myself, a least had highlighted about myself, is how much I hate and shy away from feeling vulnerable. I trust a lot of people on surface level, but I find it harder to let people know the me behind the face. If that makes sense? If not, let me explain. I find it hard to let people know the fears I hold inside, the thoughts that can drive me insane.
Last week I was on an amazing camping trip, one that left me with a lot of time to spend just talking with God and thinking. "Naomi, when you came to DTS you had a mindset. A mindset that this was only six months. A mindset that I couldn't let these people be the closest of friends." I hadn't even realized this. But now I can see that subconsciously I was guarding myself to these people, not really trusting them as I should. There are over 50 people on base who I know would be willing to sit there and hear me discuss my thoughts and whats been on my mind. I have over 50 people who desire my trust and deserve it. I need to take down the barriers and walls I put up. I am learning that vulnerability can be good, I am learning to trust.
It isnt all chai lattes and caramel caps, this process is hard and painful. But hey, I have to trust God that he is working through my heart and working in my trust. I am being vulnerable before him first and foremost.
God bless ya'll!
Fact: God likes it when I am vulnerable before him
One thing that I have learnt about myself, a least had highlighted about myself, is how much I hate and shy away from feeling vulnerable. I trust a lot of people on surface level, but I find it harder to let people know the me behind the face. If that makes sense? If not, let me explain. I find it hard to let people know the fears I hold inside, the thoughts that can drive me insane.
Last week I was on an amazing camping trip, one that left me with a lot of time to spend just talking with God and thinking. "Naomi, when you came to DTS you had a mindset. A mindset that this was only six months. A mindset that I couldn't let these people be the closest of friends." I hadn't even realized this. But now I can see that subconsciously I was guarding myself to these people, not really trusting them as I should. There are over 50 people on base who I know would be willing to sit there and hear me discuss my thoughts and whats been on my mind. I have over 50 people who desire my trust and deserve it. I need to take down the barriers and walls I put up. I am learning that vulnerability can be good, I am learning to trust.
It isnt all chai lattes and caramel caps, this process is hard and painful. But hey, I have to trust God that he is working through my heart and working in my trust. I am being vulnerable before him first and foremost.
God bless ya'll!
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