Grey.
Lets start with an absolute.
I believe this is black and white.
There is no way 50 Shades of Grey is ok.
Firstly: I refused to read the book and I will refuse to watch the movie.
Why? Well to give you some statistics (which, to be fair, as I haven't seen it, may be slightly off but here goes). There are 20 minutes worth of sex in Fifty Shades of Grey, with no less than 16 bare bums on show. Nine lips get bitten while there is a total of 29 times one set of boobs is exposed. A dozen shirtless scenes to go with the spanking scenes.Whips, ropes, chains, handcuffs, ties, spanking paddles galore which apparently lead to a flogging scene. The words ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’ used more times than one ever wants to hear in a single sitting. And one that a seriously dont understand: a couple of pubic hair close-ups thrown in for good measure.
Why would I want to watch or read that? And how on this earth is that a healthy view of a relationship and love?
I mean, I have written posts on love and relationships before, so I'm not going down that track today. But just think for two seconds. Is that really what you want?
The path I am taking with this is more along the lines of "How is porn on the big screen?" And yes. It is porn.
Pornography noun
Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement.
People have said 'There is a story in there!' in desperate attempts to subdue my shock at the fact they were reading the book. But honestly, I had friends who were 15 reading this when it came out.
Sure, at the end of the trilogy they may be a happy family, but only cos it was Hollywood. A relationship like the one I have had described to me sounds abusive and manipulative. Its not a book about romance, its a book described as misogynistic, pornographic, exploitative and sexually violent.
Plus it lies to you. Violence is not sexy. Doesn't the first book even end with Ana crying because of how disturbed Christian is? (ps: thats not a plot line, that is emotional abuse). It may be the feminist inside of me, but really ladies? BDSM? Doesnt it send the wrong message when Ana gives consent purely because she is to shy to speak of mind of afraid of loosing Christian? Sure, she does give consent but it doesnt stop her from being harmed.
Let me just ask... Why are you watching that?
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ReplyDeleteComing from someone who has never read it, doesn't want to any time soon, and really isn't into that kind of thing:
ReplyDeleteI 100% disagree with your black and white comment. While I don't think that it's good, I don't think it's as bad as you paint it either. There are two sides to the coin that is 50 shades. Some might say - it's not black and white, it is in fact a shade of grey ;)
Let's start. It's GOOD to have a story about BDSM in the mainstream. It's a perfectly okay thing IF it's consensual. To many people, that sort of violence CAN be sexy. Having a book and movie about it is allowing people to explore their sexuality. I'm not what you were trying to say there in terms of 'feminism' etc., but please don't condemn BDSM or its community based on 50 shades. There is nothing wrong with 'dominant' or 'submissive' if that's what people want - and let's be clear, that IS what some people want. Please don't be misinformed or judgemental just because you have different views of what's 'sexy'.
Most of the story IS very dodgy, as far as safe consensual BDSM goes. That's definitely not a good thing and it spreads some pretty terrible ideas about how to practice BDSM. That bit is BAD. It can give men the idea that they are allowed to behave as Christian does, and it can give women the idea that BDSM means being treated like Ana. Most people, however, do realise that it's just a story. There are lots of stories about people doing bad things. That doesn't make them okay, but the average human being can in fact differentiate between stories and real life. Seeing someone kill another person in a movie doesn't make them go out and do it themselves. If they do, they're mentally effed up. I've also seen some pretty dodgy BDSM in very mainstream movies like Eurotrip!
There is also absolutely nothing wrong with nudity or sex in movies as long as viewers are aware that that's what they'll be seeing. As a culture we shame sex and sexuality far too much, especially for women. You might make the choice of no sex before marriage and other things, but that's a personal choice. SO many things are easier if people are okay talking about sex - from forming healthy relationships (and having informed consent) to reporting rape. It's a normal part of life for the majority of people on this planet. Some have bad experiences, but most have fantastic ones. I don't see why showing sex on screen (20 minutes in a 125 minute movie? not even that much) is terrible in itself. Don't confuse what you're personally comfortable with with what's okay. Boobs? Butts? Pubes? They're all natural, who the hell cares? If you don't wanna see it, don't watch the movie.
Finally: the bit about it being porn. Yes, by most definitions the movie is pornographic - it's about a BDSM relationship, duh. It is more accurately described as erotica, but perhaps that's just a matter of words. While I can't explain why this movie is considered okay for screening in cinemas while other pornographic material is not, what I'd prefer to question is why you have such negative connotations on that word. Most mainstream pornography can be harmful, especially to women. But this isn't mainstream. Yes it's pornographic, but all that word means is that IT'S ABOUT SEX. Most of the arguments I've heard against pornography in general pretty much cannot apply to this story. BDSM movies aren't even new, it's just that this story became popular.
YOU might not want to watch or read 50 shades - and to be frank, neither do I. But don't be quite so harsh. This is your opinion and you're entitled to it... Just please consider more viewpoints before condemning it outright.
If you're up for some discussion on the topic, try Laci Green videos on youtube about 50 shades and BDSM.
Love and kisses <3
The problem isn't that it gives women the idea that bdsm means being treated like Ana. It's that so many women, as young as early teens, are idolizing this Christian grey as perfect and who they want to be in a relationship with. It's making them vulnerable to being hurt, used and abused by men who are getting the idea (from this book) that women are merely objects to be used however they feel like. This being idolized in society should not be ok and I have no idea how it has become so, but most who read the book (including me, initially) have been manipulated as well as Ana was that non consentual sexual and bdsm are ok.
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